Rough Start

Michael overslept and I didn't wake him while getting ready or rush him - mistake. We left about 5:15 for a 6 am flight and I got to the airport with just less than the 30 minutes to flight.

I wasn't able to check in on-line so I had to go to the counter which was packed for the next flight. Some angel in line asked me if I was on the 6 am flight - I guess he saw the "oh shit" look on my face.

The guy at the counter was giving me crap already while checking a couple in, and there was a woman there on the ATL flight with a boarding pass but needing to check a bag, and he didn't care that I couldn't check in on-line. And that's when I met the dickpie.

He started in with "oh are you just moving over here? Are there two lines?" Now, I'm sympathetic to an extent. I hate when people show up late and burn time I could be spending in the Crown Room. Oh you overslept so just inconvenience the rest of us. But in my defense I had no bags to check, and I would have had a boarding pass already if delta.com had worked.

But wait, there's more. What about the lady with the bag to check who had moved up in front of everyone? Well, dickpie was playing Big Angry Black Man and she happened to be black. Racist? Yeah, I think he was.

Now, what I wanted to tell him is look, Mr. Two-Flights-a-Year, if this were a real airport and there was a Medallion line like there should be, I'd be skipping riff-raff like you anyway. But this is partly Delta's fault and partly mine so I smile and apologize and assure him I didn't mean to inconvenience everyone.

Then he says it's not his problem and he has a live animal (in a little carry on - in my mind it's a Paris Hilton chihuahua because the juxtaposition would be priceless) and he's not letting me skip. I say please even though I know it's not up to him. When the Delta guy says 6 am people have priority (yep, that's how it works when you show up late) I again apologize only to hear the witty retort "don't say anything else to me."

What are you, 6? Did an adult just say that? In my mind I'm thinking, or else what? There's something else implied there and I really want to continue this line of dialogue, but I'm not checked in and still subject to the whim of the guy at the desk. The lady with the bag to check let's me go first - I reasoned with her that at least she had a boarding pass!

The desk guy told me I couldn't check in on-line because I have a common name. You know, because I've changed it since I started flying Delta 13 years ago and since becoming Platinum. Wtf? Anyway, I rushed to the gate committing dickpie's face to memory. They hadn't even started boarding yet so I got there in time to be the second guy on the plane, so suckit BABM.

50 minutes until wheels up to Vegas...